hipster-trichster:

2makeyewsmile:

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding. Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.  Officer: Don’t have one? Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving. Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. Woman: I can’t do that. Officer: Why not? Woman: I stole this car. Officer: Stole it? Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. Officer: You what? Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see. The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun. Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle. Woman: Is there a problem sir? Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. Woman: Murdered the owner? Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please. The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk. Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am? Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The first officer is stunned. Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled. Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner. Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.

that was a wild ride

hipster-trichster:

2makeyewsmile:

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.

Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.

Officer: Don’t have one?

Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.

Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Woman: I can’t do that.

Officer: Why not?

Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle
please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?

Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The first officer is stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.

that was a wild ride

Saturday Jul 19 @ 09:26pm
Saturday Jul 19 @ 09:25pm

pallidbirth:

jumping out of helicopters is dangerous 

you know they say 1 in 5 people dont even make it to the ground

image

what do you mean they dont make it to the ground

where do they go

image

Saturday Jul 19 @ 09:22pm
lotrlockedwhovian:

winchester-kelly:

badgerdash-cumberquat:

the—superwholockian:

twistedthicket1:

trypophobic-canine:

perks-of-being-chinese:

heroscafe:

everyonesfavoriteging:

my-weeping-angel:

eatsleepcrap:

syd224:

eatsleepcrap:

wincherlockedintardis:

even with those four numbers there are countless possible combinations good luck with figuring out which one is the right one you punk

*straightens calculator*
It’s pretty likely that it’s a four digit number, and as there are four digits chosen there, that means that there cannot be any repetition. This mean that there are:
n!/(n-4)! possible orders. As ‘n’ is 4 (number of digits available). 4!/0! which becomes 4x3x2x1/1 which simplifies to 24. That means that there are 24 possible combinations of codes. This would take you about two or three minutes to input all possible codes.

Unless an alarm goes off if you don’t get it right in 3 tries

*straightens calculator again*
Kick the door in

well ‘technically’ the code is most likley 1970. statistically, a majority of people, when told to choose a 4 digit code will choose their birth year. and this key pad is obviously a few years old to put it nicely, thats most likley it.

some sherlock holmes shit just went down over here


No, no, no. Don’t base your deductions of psychology. Let’s talk chemistry. When you first press a button, there’s more of the natural oils on your skin, and therefore it wears down the numbers on the keys faster. Obviously 0 is the first one, then. Try 0791 first.

Sherlock out.

woah.

it got better

and this is why the sherlock fandom could either rule the world or end it….

Close, but not quite, I think. People will almost always choose a number they can remember. What’s memorable about 0791? Try 0719 - a birthday, 19th of July. That is more likely.

Those deductions are great and all, but unnecessary.
The light is green.
The door is already open.

And that’s why we have a John Watson.

This is “top 10 favorite posts” level.

lotrlockedwhovian:

winchester-kelly:

badgerdash-cumberquat:

the—superwholockian:

twistedthicket1:

trypophobic-canine:

perks-of-being-chinese:

heroscafe:

everyonesfavoriteging:

my-weeping-angel:

eatsleepcrap:

syd224:

eatsleepcrap:

wincherlockedintardis:

even with those four numbers there are countless possible combinations good luck with figuring out which one is the right one you punk

*straightens calculator*

It’s pretty likely that it’s a four digit number, and as there are four digits chosen there, that means that there cannot be any repetition. This mean that there are:

n!/(n-4)! possible orders. As ‘n’ is 4 (number of digits available). 4!/0! which becomes 4x3x2x1/1 which simplifies to 24. That means that there are 24 possible combinations of codes. This would take you about two or three minutes to input all possible codes.

Unless an alarm goes off if you don’t get it right in 3 tries

*straightens calculator again*

Kick the door in

well ‘technically’ the code is most likley 1970. statistically, a majority of people, when told to choose a 4 digit code will choose their birth year. and this key pad is obviously a few years old to put it nicely, thats most likley it.

some sherlock holmes shit just went down over here

image

No, no, no. Don’t base your deductions of psychology. Let’s talk chemistry. When you first press a button, there’s more of the natural oils on your skin, and therefore it wears down the numbers on the keys faster. Obviously 0 is the first one, then. Try 0791 first.

image

Sherlock out.

woah.

it got better

and this is why the sherlock fandom could either rule the world or end it….

Close, but not quite, I think. People will almost always choose a number they can remember. What’s memorable about 0791? Try 0719 - a birthday, 19th of July. That is more likely.

Those deductions are great and all, but unnecessary.

The light is green.

The door is already open.

And that’s why we have a John Watson.

This is “top 10 favorite posts” level.

Saturday Jul 19 @ 09:21pm
http://angelofthebarricade.tumblr.com/post/92298254766/the-average-gatsby-alright-you-guys-have-posted

the-average-gatsby:

alright you guys have posted some pretty bad jokes on here but not one comes close to this doozy

brace yourselves

so there’s a far-off place that consists of a perfectly triangular lake surrounded by land, with three kingdoms on the three sides of the lake. the first…

Saturday Jul 19 @ 09:17pm

twinkletwinkleyoulittlefuck:

cell-mate:

crackerhell:

ethanwearsprada:

i think it’s a universal truth that everyone in our generation takes pluto’s losing its planetary status as a personal offense

yes

pluto is smaller than russia. why did we ever even consider it a planet?

BECAUSE IT’S A PART OF OUR SOLAR SYSTEM

OHANA MEANS FAMILY

FAMILY MEANS NO ONE IS LEFT BEHIND

Saturday Jul 19 @ 09:13pm
worshiptheband:

the best youtube comment 

worshiptheband:

the best youtube comment 

Saturday Jul 19 @ 09:05pm

daveyoufool:

So I saw this cute girl going down the street with an amazing ass. I was all “DAMN GIRL, YOU GOT AN AMAZING ASS.” She was like “thanks, there’s a sale across the block, I got him there.” Now I have a pet donkey too, he was five bucks and his name is Leopold. And he hates thunderstorms.

Saturday Jul 19 @ 06:39pm

blah-blahs:

This guy wants to be mad but can’t

Saturday Jul 19 @ 06:35pm

queerfabulousmermaid:

omgitsbrilliant:

livindavidaloki:

redhjedi:

The Hulk ain’t never lied.

I can’t even express how much respect I have for Mark Ruffalo.  The dude’s on the US terrorism watchlist for fuck’s sake.

Omg, it’s true

"Actor reportedly put on US advisory list after organising screenings of documentary criticising natural gas drilling"
i can’t

Saturday Jul 19 @ 06:25pm

Saturday Jul 19 @ 06:24pm
arineat:

badgergasm:

Here’s hoping.

HOW AWESOME WOULD THAT BE?!

arineat:

badgergasm:

Here’s hoping.

HOW AWESOME WOULD THAT BE?!

Saturday Jul 19 @ 06:14pm
In socialist Venezuela you must pay a clean air tax depending on where you're standing. In socialist Britain if you don't pay your tv license they show up at your door and take your tv.

mr-cappadocia:

pizza-cat-pizza-cat:

mr-cappadocia:

angry-icecream:

mr-cappadocia:

And people wonder why Americans are paranoid about socialism.

But umm… Taxes pay for TV there and well if I don’t pay my TV bill the television company shows up and takes my TV away. So yeah

Let me see if I understand your argument right. You’re…

If you don’t use your TV then why do you care if they take your TV

Watching dvds. Playing video games. Cracking it open and examining the guts to teach myself how to build a jet pack out of coconuts and weeds.

image

Who gives a fuck what my reasons are.

More importantly… notice how this conversation just became about how *I* need to justify maintaining control over my personal property?

sorry just wondering

Saturday Jul 19 @ 03:49pm
unshaped:

nintenofficial:

dropdeadesu:

aragaki:

i don’t get this. why does this have so many notes. does it have to do with the type of ice cream? Napoleon ice cream? Napoleon Bonaparte? is that Napoleon Bonaparte’s hand?

nobody explain

?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

OH MY GOD

unshaped:

nintenofficial:

dropdeadesu:

aragaki:

i don’t get this. why does this have so many notes. does it have to do with the type of ice cream? Napoleon ice cream? Napoleon Bonaparte? is that Napoleon Bonaparte’s hand?

nobody explain

?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

OH MY GOD

Saturday Jul 19 @ 03:48pm

precumming:

ITS SO UNFAIR WHEN YOU LOVE SINGING BUT YOU WERENT BORN WITH A GOOD VOICE

Saturday Jul 19 @ 03:47pm
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